So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
