Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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