Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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