Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
