I love black thongs
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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