I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
