just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
