I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
