tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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