He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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