I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
