He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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