didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
