I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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