Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
