So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
