I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
