i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
im on a boat
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