Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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