Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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