pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
