did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
