just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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