I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
