with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fuck appropriateness.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Who died my cat blue again?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
