how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
