Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
