addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
