I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
