and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
