Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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