I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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