And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
