I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
