true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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