I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize