Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
