Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
