Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
