just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
