'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
