I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
