he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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