have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
