my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
