You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
