everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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