My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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