His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
