Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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