I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
