remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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