i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
